I believe in facing reality. But only because I don’t like turning my back on it.

People used to live lives of quiet desperation – now they go on talk shows!

I don’t know if I can live on my income or not – the government won’t let me try it.

I like to get to work early. Before my brain knows what I’m up to.

My mind wanders a lot, but fortunately it’s too weak to go very far.

Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.

It’s not that Good doesn’t triumph over Evil, it’s that the point spread is too small.

Money talks – but credit has an echo.

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.

Money talks — but credit has an echo.